.Chriserena.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

This entry was wrote to release my feelings being surpressed inside me in the first place.I had alot to write actually.When i came to this page, everything i wanted to express, gone in second.My mind's a blank, my fingers frozed, and all i did was to stare blankly into the space.

I was unhappy with work, unhappy with how i'm being treated, unhappy with what i am now.I want to go back to study, to upgrade myself again and this time with no slacking again.Deep inside, i knew i am never gonna be good in studies, but i want to give myself a chance yet again.Not into serious lecturing or exams, but to build up my skills and something which i can be proud of, vice verus, my parents too.Up to this age, i had finally want to achieve something so badly to prove myself.Though i always remind myself countlessly, don't mind what they said, just do your job to your best and that's it.But real fact, i am actually very bothered with those comments.

Thoughout my life, i've actually achieved many that most people cant,

I learnt swimming with the help of my mummy's support, achieved a silver cert.
I managed to get a bronze for running in my primary school days.One that i'm not good at.
I learnt drawing animes with my cousin and a primary school crush (Jing Yan)'s help.
I get to know art and designing and did pretty well actually.With Jia Ling and Teachers' help.
I joined NCC(sea) with the help's of Joyce and learnt even more seasports which not many had tried.2nd star for kayaking, 1 star for sailing and many more.
After getting to know about blogspot from Wendy, i tried learning to edit, customize HTML codes and made a current website for my workplace.Very proud of it.
Learnt beauty skills from my aunt and her partner.

Perhaps for some, they would thought, chey! website so easy to make, art draw or copy then edit can le ma, seasports go learn la, cert go earn la, eg.

To me, it's already a very good achievements i had.After working there, i actually found out that, many things i knew besides their skills, they actually knew nothing for HTML, basic advertising, some designing skills, they knew far nothing.To me, i'm very happy about this myself.At least i didn't live for nothing, though nothing great achievement so far, but at least i learned more than people, more than anyone now.Be it life experiences, great barriers to overcome, blah blah blah.At least, i knew more.

But,

Deep down, i wanted to achieve more.

-11:10 AM

Monday, April 27, 2009

Wow, i haven't been updating my blog for quite some time.Had been very busy with some very personal stuffs and i'm glad it's all over for real, for once.Very appreciated with all those who tried their best to help me, specially my family.They always been so supportive with i've chosen.

As for the much personal stuffs i wont eleborate much here.It's been hell for me and it's like finally i saw rainbow in my life, knowing who will always been with me at my lowest point of life, wouldn't betrayed me even a darkest secret i'll shared with.I'm so glad they're with me all along.

On a different note, i had been thinking on getting a liensced UK approved certifcate(CIBTEC) that will proved on my beauty skills and something to confirm my future career.I've seeked many close kins and friends on their opinions and mostly gave a green light to it.My parents were 100% full support of my decision.

But on the working side, they're not giving a very supportive answer to me, one said perhaps the cert is a buy-in cert, the other said it's certainly not compulsory to get a cert to confirm your skills in beauty career.I totally do not believe that.What is singapore?Singapore need certs to give you like eg. better job, better pay, better position, better commission and so on.With cert, noone will not assure on your skills.Though yes, even with a cert, experience is the secondary compulsory, yet, i still do strongly believe, you need certs to survive in this harsh industry.Many girls will look down on you w/o a cert and w/o experiences, bosses will not be assured on you, climbing up asap is totally like impossible, you will be still doing dirty jobs after 3 years.I haven't been processing at all, all i did was, cleaning and doing dirty jobs like there's no tml, giving out flyers though i kinda like it now as i DON'T have to face them for like 2 hours?Other than that, FULL-STOP.

I should already knew that they want to tie me down so that i couldn't get a cert and so that i would be always be a step behind them.I won't be listening to any negative suggestions anymore, nothing would stop me from getting that cert you both are also holding on.3 years after this cert, i would be getting a degree cert and so i would be a step ahead you both!

I won't let them look down on me.

----------------

Just a very cute cat which Xing named her as Babyy.

On my lowest point of life, that very midnight, this cat came out from nowhere when i was crying at the void deck, comforted me with her cutest purr i've heard.Since then, she had been my closest companion i would rely on.She's like a angel sent by Upper to comfort me.Even since then, whenever i went to work/ finish my work, she would be waiting for me at the void deck welcoming me.Friends who know me well, knew that cat is my great fetish.Too bad my parent opposed, if not she will be inside my house now.But i am not worried leaving her at the void deck, she will be there no matter when.

-7:24 AM